this is seriously hilarious. im doing 100m, long jump and shotput for sports meet. this is so gonna be fun and frankly speaking i think i must be bonkers to accept this. okay, as they put it, for the class for apollo, i shall not let my rational self hinder. hahaha. i shall continue to be cranky and play along.
making decisions on impulse, all that momentary adrenaline rush. i guess its all worthwhile to feel this way occasionally, doing something crazy and when i look back in future, i'll probably laugh it off, but hey i can say i've done it. its actually getting down to do something rather than plain talking about it. there may be uncertainties, but that's an opportunity at least.
anyway its been a slackish day. council nominees introduction was boring except for a few groups that managed to perk me up. and what's the thing about relationships in most of the videos? oh yes, the videos were saturated with jay chou's songs... weird. and it didnt help very much when my left ankle was hurting with all that sitting down in that awkward skirt.
then lessons - chitchat - co - home.
it's nice to do the listening again, because sometimes there's just no need for me to talk and i'll be more than willing to sit there and listen to ppl talk. being in the centre of ppl's attention is tiring, its easier to take a step back.
i wish i listen more. 23:11
30 March 2006
since i feel like it, i shall do listing.
1. great. my first failed bio test. XD just please dont remind me how manageable question one was because i didnt attempt that question at all. and come to think of it, i was pretty out of my mind because i studied carbohydrates the most thoroughly. okay, so that gave me my first O of the year. -.- point to take note: keep sane during tests. hahahaha.
2. went to support the water polo ppl at acsi this afternoon and they drew 3-3. well and close to the end, it started pouring and everyone got drenched, and well, the uniform is obviously not waterproof and it got rather cold in the end. and yes the acsi campus is kinda screwed because there's no proper shelter from the lobby to the gate and it was raining heavily we just walked out of the campus without umbrellas. thank goodness i had my dry pe tee with me so i didnt look like some idiot who fell into the pool when i was on the mrt. ><
3. dr siva keeps calling me during his lessons =\ and im still clueless about pw.
4. i actually enjoyed doing chem for the first time of the year and that was when we were doing that drawing exercise in class. its end of march and its only the first time -.-
5. is nicholas serious in getting everyone in class to participate in the sports meet? on a side note, apollo really rocks (:
6. im tired and im going to sleep. poof. 22:55
29 March 2006
okay published the previous post as well cos blogger wasnt quite right that day.
been feeling a little disillusioned these days. the more i look, the more different how i see it. and my judgement ought to be doubted. how could i have naively believed that things were just pretty and nice and fluffy. afterall, there are bound to be a different side of someone i have yet to see.
do you know me? i think i dont know myself. okayy maybe i do know, but not that well.
guess things are going to pile up sooner or later, gotta be rather busy this term i think. it seriously doesnt work when i dont understand a freaking crap for maths now and im feeling nothing. not worried. nothing.
just apathy. this sounds like bad news.
on a happier note, i can do 80 situps in a row now (: 22:34
27 March 2006
okayy i need the determination to continue doing my situps and pushups everyday. dont stop. keep going. dont give up. hahah glad to have valerie around to motivate and remind me, if its just me alone, i bet i would have given it up all ago.
gotta exercise. the thighs are troubling. hahahaha. but i shant say im fat. cos im not. (: anyway i think lek chia's new hairstyle simply rocks. hahaha. oh mann i salute him for that. and of course for his diligence. gonna learn from him, but the first thing is to complete all my tutorials. -.- mug hard play hard. hahah. its both.
conclusions do lead to observations. i know im being unfair, im trying to change. give me time (: 22:25
25 March 2006
to follow the heart or the head?
i guess i have more or less found the answers, though its still a little conflicting inside but ah well, shall take things a step at a time. shall not try worrying for nuts. i'll follow my heart. (: cos if i follow my head too much, i'll just end up thinking and thinking and nothing will be done. to have that so-called passion or urge to do something is harder than to find a thousand and one reasons to excuse myself for not doing something.
anyway something to celebrate, my brother got me a red crumpler as an early birthday present, very early in fact. =p okayy i really gotta admit he's a nice brother, i mean not just because he bought me this but well, i'll be unfair towards him if i say he never treats me well. i give thanks to the fact that age gaps get closer seemingly as we grow older and we do appreciate more i guess. i may never say it, but its just a positive feeling never articulated.
but in fact, im rather disturbed now. there's a lot of things people dont see, and there's even more things people dont feel. there's nothing much really when you are the one blabbering away, but just imagine you became the subject.
stop the hurting. if you have never been hurt before, you will never want to know how it feels to be hurt like that. especially being hurt by people you loved.
wake up from the dream. 20:41
24 March 2006
realised i needed the time to think so i took the long way and walked home from the bus stop. sigh. i seriously dont like the eunice who tries to avoid facing some issue whenever she cant seem to understand or cope with. so i try reasoning it out to myself. but it aint working, things that i didnt get it initially remain not understood.
somehow i admire people who can go all out doing something that they really believe in. not holding back nor turning back, there's the goal and they go straight for it. there's a lot of things i would really want to follow my heart, but there just seems to be this little part of me who thinks too much. what if this happens? what if that happens? and the very fact that im not someone who lets go easily.
this place is too practical. and its bothering me. or is it me, who just dont dare to choose my own way because im being practical myself. correction, i think its me. because there are so many people out there who dare to be different, to pursue something that they like and enjoy.
so the problem lies with me.
and i'll continue thinking in the meantime. hahaha.
anyway, -random- but its really a good idea to exercise with a friend cos it motivates (: 20:14
22 March 2006
poof. oh what crap, i keep using poof today. what's the problem.
urgh.
anyway we had hc idol yesterday and congrats to yong liang from athena for winning. ah wells though i would seriously want meiling to win. but it is the way voting works, but nonetheless still very proud of meiling. woots. i never knew she can sing so well. =) but at least, the idol chosen is one who has ability.... i seriously dont see the point of going on stage looking like a fool (and im not even talking in terms of singing) and being a disgrace.
and as usual, the bunch of us were late as usual. hmm. think its kinda atrocious to be this late and well come to think of it, its probably time we can start to change. or at least, i shall try to resist all the influence of being late. not a very good habit to cultivate in the first place. it aint working this way, i mean we cant possibly be punishing the people who actually care to be early. oh wells. i am guilty. bleh. WAKE UP.
crapp. definitely not feeling the best now. aching.
-.-
i have not forgotten. you may not know, but that's the promise i made to myself. i am not going to repeat history. 20:27
20 March 2006
hmm.
okay i know i am lag, but this picture really rocks (:
anyway, new term has started. felt weird in the college uniform for lessons the entire day. its rather uncomfortable especially when im used to collar-less uniform for four good years. hahaha. and it didnt help much cos my neck was sunburnt. >< but its interesting to see most ppl one shade darker today. and we should go for more class outings!
ohhh and we had to go to this ancient chem lab today -.- and register no. 25 and 26 have to sit by the window ourselves. and its freaking stuffy over there and warm when the windows are open. ahh. i miss the nice new lab we used to go in term one. we never treasure enough.
poof. there's no school tomorrow but there's hwa chong idol. hahaha. go apollo (:
[edit] i give thanks, from the bottom of my heart.. for meeting you ppl is the best gift i have ever received so far. its more than feeling great. its more than special. its simply undescribable.
smiling even in my dreams. [/edit] 19:38
19 March 2006
oh great my msn is kind of screwed and messages keep getting bounced off =x so everytime when the conversation stops really awkwardly, okayy i have a problem now. and now shueli's personal msg says "haha eunice, my msg cannot get thru" -.-
was mugging econs just now and im so glad i chose to drop physics in college. though still tedious, but i dont get myself feeling so screwed up with all the formulae and calculations. but since i havent been taking humans since a long time, and it gonna take some time to get used to crap such essays again. =p but well at least physics is not going to haunt me anymore.
hols ending in a couple of hours' time. hasnt been a really fantastic holiday but well it's a break at least (: and on a happier note, its loads of fun at sentosa on friday. yepp, school aint that bad too except for the tests and yadayada so yeah.
welcome school days... 17:31
18 March 2006
poof. very tired now, been out the entire day which leaves me with only one and a half more day till the march hols end. and oh yes, im slightly claustrophobic and imagine how bad it is to be squeezing with 6 other ppl in a normal car that seats 5. and none of them are like child-size. -.- felt damn sick after that. ><
ohh its class outing at sentosa yesterday and yeahh i didnt get peels on the face at all though i looked kinda red yesterday, and my feet got so much tanner. but okay i got a blister on my left sole cos of the burning sand. and yes we ought to learn how to be slightly earlier, sighh no point punishing people who care to be early. =\ anyway weather was great yesterday and yupp rocked. ball games. being in the water (though i wished i had gone another time) . plain slacking around under the sun. cycling round the trails, hahaha quite fun and i was really dumb for not knowing how to utilise the bike gears. but had a slight accident with val on the zebra crossing and i nearly flew off the bicycle, but poor val got injured. =\ sigh, hope you get well soon. and yup sean and siyun too. =) then its dinner at harbourfront again, and its weird to see a shopping mall this empty. and yep thanks for the lift home from ck's parents, otherwise i probably would reached home wayy late.
wonderful outing. (:
back to reality when work needs to be done. screw the econs timed assignment. sigh. 18:10
17 March 2006
today's friday and come to think of it, this march hols hasnt been exactly very pleasant. trying to slack around and find distractions so i'll stop thinking about stuff.
but thank goodness, things got better by each day and seriously tomorrow is always better. gotta give thanks to ppl who cared to ask though i may not tell you what went wrong, but wells, thanks for being there at least. sam's message was really touching and im seriously glad to know you as a friend. and shawn, you and your favourite line (: oh and chris's lameness, hahahaha was pretty good a distraction cos i was feeling damn awful that day.
so the point is, i have to be strong and carry on no matter what. life's been so much better since the start of the year so it will probably turn for the better (:
in the end, it will be okay. if it's not okay, it's not the end.
yeps. should be going for breakfast soon then make my way to harbourfront. haha. class outing at sentosa later on. and i realise that there are so many routes i can take to harbourfront. >< 08:28
15 March 2006
oh great.
i heard something that i didnt want to face this morning. guess im avoiding a couple of things and apparently its all not working. so that left me kinda bothered for the entire day. sighh. in conflict with myself.
有时做一些事情是因为对它有热忱、有感觉，不是你想象中的那么有心机。 我可没有你现实。
even when i think things are not gonna end well, i just cant reason to myself to stop doing it. even when it means getting hurt. this one, i dont understand myself.
weird me. 21:45
14 March 2006
i tried, but was never appreciated again.
its so discouraging and i dont want to try again. vic kept saying i have to give you a chance. and give myself a chance. but how many chances have i given? and everytime it felt worse than before. somehow i thought im immune to your criticism but you prove me wrong all the time. i do mind afterall.
i need to be stronger. hopefully (:
anyway, i just added something on deviantart. was surprised that i actually bothered to re-do it again after i accidentally closed the final touchup without saving it. it feels good doodling with photoshop...
okayy i know i need to get a life. 13:37
13 March 2006
i miss nightwalks. the streets arent safe anymore or so it seems. i dont want to go out there and get chased by a stray dog like what vic encountered the other day. hmm.
and i miss that someone rather badly. you and your laughters and smiles that never fail to cheer me up no matter what. i dont think you know it, but at least you make me feel so much better during that time when i thought i was going to break down. never realise that i will miss you so much until you popped me a msn msg just now. ahh. all the good old memories. okayy not that i have many good memories to remember.
oh yes. syf 05 is now solely in the head. no more journal entries cos diary-x failed me. but doubt i will ever forget. haha. its way too much.
okayy anyway i think i will have split personality very soon. im so quiet at home till im kind of afraid of myself too. since no one really cares to talk, i crap a lot online. so please ignore my randomness online. sighh. 22:04
hmm. this is definitely not one of those beautiful mornings i wake up to. splitting headache. ack. hahahah hopefully it gets better later so i can go to school, at least it's tons better than staying at home. this is kind of horrible, i always end up feeling quite sick everytime there's a break or something and its not that i've worked very hard during the school term or something =x
anyway dad won this creative nano plus from some company function and gave it to me =p woohoo. this so rocks! never mind if the memory space is a little small, it's always better than nothing. hahahaha. CHEERS. whee.
shawn, if you are reading this. im very amused by all your tags on my tagboard. hahaha. you and your caps! (:
holidays still quite boring. hahaha. tried babysitting bryan on sat, and its kind of hilarious. if there's this toddler who refuses to sit down no matter what, here's a warning that he might have poo-ed in his diapers. damn gross. but kids are still cute (: and he never fails to brighten my day everytime he drops by my place. then yesterday was grocery shopping XD and the spastic supermarket's damn big. hahahaha.
okay shall stop crapping. goodbye for now. 09:23
11 March 2006
this is very interesting. so my mum actually didnt want me to go hc. and i just knew about it a couple of minutes ago. o.O ah wells... seriously im doing really fine there and so far so good. but the point is, she doesnt like it. and frankly speaking, im still shocked after she told me that just now. and hmm, come to think of it, im involved in many things that she doesnt quite approve of anyway. can still remember how long it took her to accept me being in co.
she doesnt get it. i dont want a life that's full of study and nothing else. that's so horrible. ack.
today is the beginning of the march holidays. guess what. im already bored.
this so rocks.
ohh. lucks to wahtoon for his commonwealth games (: and hopefully he's bringing big bags of noughats back for us.
okay im going to try drawing. im seriously bored. 15:42
09 March 2006
can never really describe the emotional roller coaster ride i took these days.
siyun came back to us again, weiwei had to leave, people change subj combinations, and you see new faces. ups and downs and ups and downs. but there's one thing i came to realise, if you believe hard enough, miracles really do happen. and its always till you almost lose something when you lament not treasuring enough, not holding that something dear. ohh and someone as well. no matter what happens, i will continue loving the old 06s75 and learn to love the new 06s75.
amazing. i've never felt so much for a class, it just feels very different from what i have experienced in the past. will treasure. but we all know we can never treasure enough.
think i'll miss weiwei a lot. seriously loads. she's just such a nice chap, always so encouraging and fun-loving. and im super duper touched by her determination to try to appeal in, but nevertheless hope she continues to rock in vj.
anyway, heard some ppl do some impromptu speeches during csp and there's this one who caught my attention, saying something like drawing on a piece of paper. you cant erase the marks you drew, and what's done cannot be undone.
i have no idea why but i thought of you. if there's anything i regret so much, its you. if there's anything that makes me hate myself so much, its you. if there's anything that i still cant face, its still you. no matter what or how it seems, everytime i speak to you, i talk to you, im just reminded of what i have done. how trashy everything were. i think we never understood the other side of the story. accomodation didnt work that time. and i failed terribly to listen. there's just this feeling for 'you are trying too hard'.
im praying really really hard. and they say when you believe so much, a miracle may just happen. and i seriously wish for something to brighten up my day cos its kinda down recently. definitely not one of the better days. =x and come to think of it, just one week ago, everything seemed so fine.
been on a roller coaster ride.
im just so touched by what weiwei has done and everything, doing everything she seriously can to stay. think im fortunate to have her who love us so much. and siyun. there's nothing to do now but hope, which happens to be an exasperating process.
i want to sleep and wake up to a beautiful morning when everything's the same.
okay. i shouldnt be neglecting all the bio that im supposed to be studying. oh wells. 23:01
04 March 2006
reality is starting to set in today and whatever sadness i didnt manage to feel yesterday was felt this afternoon. i dont remember feeling something like that except for last year when i left the co. it overwhelmes and i find myself crying while reading those blog entries.
im seriously in a very horrible mood. when it starts, i cant stop the tap. screwed.
stay close, 06s75.
让我看到希望好吗？ 19:57
03 March 2006
the big thing today: jae posting results.
frankly speaking i never wanted this day to exist. especially after o level result release. early in the morning when i reached school, shueli told me siyun's posted to nj. sadness hadnt quite set in yet then. siyun came. smiled and cried and smiled and cried. then it was weiwei. the girls started crying and its seriously painful to see such a scene. im not someone who cries easily, but its really amazing how crying influences. especially when its so painful inside. val and i were trying so hard to control and not face the class after assembly cos im just too afraid that the tears will come flowing again. and yeah, guys do cry and haha its nothing to be ashamed about. we all love 06s75, that's why the tears came. 憋着眼泪会中内伤。
im proud of being a sevenfiver, being part of the 06s75 im so accustomed to for the past two months. two months may sound short to some people, definitely not short to me. because i always believe that you may know someone for a very long time, but not necessarily feel attached to that somebody. or worse still, that someone may not even know exactly who you were. its all about what we went through together, how we try so hard to make this a great class, though seriously we are lying to ourselves if we say we have no problems in class. but i feel a lot for this class. and i cannot cannot imagine the 06s75 next monday or maybe when the new ppl starts coming in and now im hearing things like ppl changing subject combinations. and i dont want him to come to our class.
this is horrible.
really hope siyun can get in. heartaching. when you see nice people leaving one by one. i will miss weiwei a lot, her many encouragements and her coolness.. and victor, for being such a nice person though he looks dao when he doesnt smile. and now no more victor standing behind me during flag raising... all the best in nj... and siyun, im crossing fingers for her to appeal successfully back here. we shall see you soon in class.
yeah as what they said, today's probably the saddest day since school started. reality pushes you up yet pulls you down at the happiest moment. i hope its like a spoilt swing, then goes up after this and stays there. but frankly speaking, i do give thanks for giving me a chance to experience 75, the 75 that i know. where im number 24. with weiwei, victor and jeremy.
we rock. 22:38
02 March 2006
hmm. it's half day for us today all thanks to the seniors that scored well for 'a's. basically the nicest part of it all is you get to skip csp -evil- anyway its kinda crap during chem lab today cos val and i were so stony after we finished our titrations and we didnt even bother to start doing the calculations and tabulations. it was until miss ho said she wanted to collect it back after the period then we started scrambling for pens and paper. XD sighh. my calculations suck as usual.
which reminds me i need to start revising chem since i cant do maths and im not gonna waste more time there tonight.
anyway went to bugis area after school today... went to see avis' practice at the studio, hahah the place looks kinda cool and jiayou avis =) then we went bugis junction to have some food then to take neoprints. hmm. okay the neoprint thingy was kind of retarded cos in the end there's some mistake and we ended up only selecting one photo. -.- and then we tried to compensate by taking photos in one of the machines... using val's camera XD so well, always stick with the cheaper option... at least when it fails you, you wont feel so painful (:
random: the video at the class blog is freaking funny (: nice entertainment to start the night off. wahahahah. thanks terry! =) and of course all that contributed to the content. like my phone. -.-
hmm. its posting results tmr. 06s75, stay close.
peace. 22:22
01 March 2006
hmm. i am stony. okay, this is not something new. i literally feel the same every night, most of the time at least.
anyway we had fac idol auditions today, and yepp really proud of the two guys from our class who participated. hahah simon and nicholas, you guys rock. and frankly speaking, i think it really takes loads of courage to go up to the stage and sing. and seriously, i think the auditorium just freaks sometimes. so cheers for everyone who sang today (:
okay my paragraphs are short, mrs samuel commented that im not substantiating my points made. >< so i shall learn how to crap. not very successful apparently, since all my blog entries are really short. wells, gotta thank my ability to think randomly and my inability to link everything together. ah wells. sounds kind of pathetic. whatever.
oh yes, think i gotta start mugging a bit for those lecture tests for next week, seriously have no idea what my brain can do to me at the very last minute. and hahah i better study if i dont want to fail another chem assessment. have been screwing up my chem a lot. sigh.
but the impt point is. i am tired. random. gonna. sleep. dont. mug.
