i guess i have more or less found the answers, though its still a little conflicting inside but ah well, shall take things a step at a time. shall not try worrying for nuts. i'll follow my heart. (: cos if i follow my head too much, i'll just end up thinking and thinking and nothing will be done. to have that so-called passion or urge to do something is harder than to find a thousand and one reasons to excuse myself for not doing something.
anyway something to celebrate, my brother got me a red crumpler as an early birthday present, very early in fact. =p okayy i really gotta admit he's a nice brother, i mean not just because he bought me this but well, i'll be unfair towards him if i say he never treats me well. i give thanks to the fact that age gaps get closer seemingly as we grow older and we do appreciate more i guess. i may never say it, but its just a positive feeling never articulated.
but in fact, im rather disturbed now. there's a lot of things people dont see, and there's even more things people dont feel. there's nothing much really when you are the one blabbering away, but just imagine you became the subject.
stop the hurting. if you have never been hurt before, you will never want to know how it feels to be hurt like that. especially being hurt by people you loved.
