at this rate, i think im going to fall sick pretty soon. have been having sore throat on and off which i didnt care most of the time. and im not getting enough sleep (this one i dont know why, it just seems that im really good at wasting time). and yeahh left my wallet on the bus just now and walked home only to find myself caught in the rain. it was so huge that i totally didnt feel like running, because it couldnt have made a difference. and something in the rain went into my left eye and it hurts now. urgh. at least its comforting to know that my wallet is safe with jiangchuan and stella.
...
sometimes i wish i could be blunter. i wish i could just heck care. samantha msged me something last night - "it's time to let go of all that's hurting you" how true, but it's just so hard to do it at the same time. and i just didnt know how. i guess over the years, i gradually become someone who doesnt trust easily and if i do, i trust the person wholeheartedly. which probably makes things worse. because any form of betrayal stabs hard. and they say sensitivity is good, and i tell you it brings a hell lot of helplessness.
i see a lot of things happening around me and i dont say it out loud, because i know somehow certain observations will just evoke a response like "what's your problem" when we dont see it, we dont see it. and whoever sees it is worrying too much.
to some extent, i should give thanks because there are people in class who i can share thoughts with. im actually willing to share. surprisingly.. after keeping quiet for the last two years. i think it all boils down to how much i feel for something i guess.
