robert sent an email that sparked off some thoughts.
"it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's over. "
tried to get over it. never got over it. will still keep trying getting over it. its just amazing how cruel the mind can be, to keep reminding me again and again of stuff i would rather forget. or will i forget? i dont think i will, because without it, it would not have been the same eunice im seeing everyday... there are probably things that i wont treasure so much, even the little mundane details, because true enough, i lost something then. that's why im holding dear to everything i have now. haha maybe i owe my so-called sensitivity to that incident.
but somehow i just have the gut feeling that it's not about forgetting. its hard to forget such a scene, but rather its about getting over it. half of me wants to share this little story i have with someone, but yet the other half of me tells me that im not ready. for a good five years, i havent told anyone. things are getting better lately. i dont know, maybe i should just leave it the way it is and see what happens.
meanwhile im not going to shortchange myself and am going to make this period of life the fullest i can. because you taught me that. 21:23
