finally done with EOM! just to find myself troubled.
so it seems that im actually more bothered than what i thought i would be. because the thought keeps coming back every now and then for the entire day despite me telling myself its nothing much and it wont affect me. how great. i love lying to myself.
i guess its the same old feeling as that period of time last year, everything happened just at the right timing and yeah. just that this time round, i felt it more strongly. all the questioning of myself all over again, but the thing is i still have no idea what i exactly want. what is happening now is going against what i should be believing and wanting. at a few points of time today, i reasoned to myself that i have to live for myself. but by not considering the situation, i think im really really selfish. its that sense of guilt. i will be disappointing you guys and i dont want it.
but am i just living the way that you guys want me to? you set the path, i follow. but what if the path is leading me further and further away from my land of dreams? what else can i do?
anyway, this is random. but shawn just called me for no apparent reason.
maybe some things happen for no reason. you just have to follow your heart. can i ever do it in peace?
