it was never a harmless flashback and the nightmare hasn't quite stopped yet. because last night i woke up to find myself crying. maybe i have never gotten over the fact that you are gone for good. maybe part of what i am today is shaped by what you have shared with me. or maybe everything still seems like a dream to me.
because of you, i've learnt not to rely on others too much for support. cos i wont want to be left with nothing if everyone leaves like you. its so unpredictable, there's just no sense of security sometimes. and everyday we are all living in the risk of having our hearts emptied the next day.
and now i seriously have no idea how i am going to get over this.
my parents couldnt understand why.
and this time round, neither can i.
29th may.
(if you know how to get over stuff, i need your help.) 17:55
