im a mugger wannabe (: and studying out really helps because there's no damn thing called the computer or the msn (and samantha calls it the universal magnet). you stay focused most of the time, except when the mind goes wandering somewhere unconsciously. dont think im able to help that, but sometimes dreaming works wonder too. it just takes off stress and yadayada.
okay good. im beginning to feel the stress a little, and this is really a good sign after all the talk of trying to stress myself because im getting a little numb about grades and stuff. if stress means a bit more motivation to study harder, i seriously wont mind being stressed. at least its called positive stress. and then again, what about maths? that's like a great deal of a burden and that really sucks. i havent quite managed to convince myself that i'll be able to do it. where the hell do i find back that confidence and that ability to be confident? i cant even do. rah.
and oh yeah, i think some feelings just grow stronger and stronger by each day. (and i'm hoping that its not going to turn out to something bad that will evolve into a nightmare) its like there's this force of support somewhere and you experience this sense of affirmation. and i think its kind of regardless whether its going to be feasible or not. the heart takes over and the head has no say suddenly.
is that why sometimes we get stuck in what is not going to happen?
