they say we ought to ask a question every single day and my question for the day is
dear mum, what on earth have you done to me that i feel as though im living life just to please you?
i dont understand, but it has kind of become a little unconscious that for every single decision i make, you are bound to appear somewhere in my mind of thoughts. yes i care, but then sometimes i really really wish i can just dont care. because it will probably save me from lots of agonising incidents. :\ but i cant. your statement still hurts.
cant you just understand that you cant have identical children? we are all different individuals, and there's no way i can be like my brother in every single aspect, and in fact just face it, both he and i are very very different people. i am not his clone, i dont want to be his clone, i want to be who i am, before you try to mould me into someone im not.
if you are thinking why your second child cant be as outstanding as your first, im sorry i've tried and probably am still trying but maybe things just dont go that way i guess. im that close to convincing myself that i should just keep my own pace and see how things unfold before you told me that. and now i dont know.
oh maybe what i know is if i were to have kids next time, i will never compare them like that, just simply because i dont want history to repeat itself.
why cant you?
yeah why cant i?
why cant i just forget what you just told me, and stop myself from trying to please all the time? promos in 8 days. then what. 14:59
