i've spent the morning doing things that mean really nothing to me at all - like going to one temple after another. i know i have been doing it for the past 17 years but really it meant nothing to mean. i tried to understand where you were coming from, yes i can accept the fact that you guys believe in it, but it doesnt have to equate to me believing in it too. because such a long time, i still find myself unable to do it. if it wasnt for you, i would have given the black face and refuse to accompany. if it wasnt for the fact that i was avoiding your wrath, i wouldnt have bother.
if it wasnt for you;
and now i have to push back what i have been wanting to tell you guys because i really dont know where to start. because i dont want to sound as though im kidding, i want to let you know that what im thinking of doing is for real. it's not an overnight obsession and it's definitely not a cultish manner or whatsoever. i know what im doing.
but coward me, i dont dare to let you know. or rather i seriously have no idea where to start. i dont know the consequences.
