why is that after happy or fun moments, what's left immediately is just an awkward emptiness? it just seems to me that those previous moments belong to somewhere really far far away, even when it just ended and they are then locked up as something called memories, and nothing is left really.
after yueqi got off the bus today, i sat down and stoned. i tried thinking, but found nothing. i could remember what happened recently, but everything became so distant, just like im just observing like a third party. something is missing, but what is it i have really no idea.
no tangles. just a lot of seemingly blank spaces which i cant tell what.
for now, im just suddenly afraid of what i dont know that is happening to me. there are some emotions that i wont want them to fade away, but im losing grasp.
