i give thanks to those who understand and to those who bother. and of course to those who try to make the place more vibrant and jovial. because sometimes the way life goes drains quite a bit. just like how we chew on a chewing gum for too long, and the sweet flavouring wears off and what's left is only some weird taste that makes you wanna spit it out.
if i were to describe yesterday, i probably felt the most f-up ever. i was just so freaking disappointed with myself. i still am, actually. but i suppose i shouldnt dwell upon it too much, afterall it's bad for health.
such confidence and faith in myself urgh, i seriously need a breakthrough in this. ): the unknown just scares so much at times that i hate myself. everyone was right, i just need to have that bit more of confidence and dont concede defeat even before the battle starts.
i must constantly remind myself this.
but anyway today feels so much better, maybe because the pent-up stress was released and probably because it just isnt time to start worrying again. and bio spa went pretty alright, in fact surprisingly pleasant because i finished it in time for the first time of my life. and caregroup today was pretty fun (: cheers to jonathan who helped and guided me through my first cg role haha! and the games were just so freaking fun, imagine cg playing gei wo tempo ready go! woots, and of course the charade and pictionary and dearest crazy girl tifen trying to demo dodo bird. think i almost died laughing. haha.
and as for you, i really respect your decision and i salute your bravery. thanks so much for letting me know about that and i couldnt give thanks enough when it turned out that our friendship didnt end then. because you mattered. 21:13
