just when i think i have thought it through and things will change for the better, i proved myself wrong again. this morning, i told myself it will be fine. and it was fine all the way until the time to face the music draws near.
why that sudden resentment and resisting when it's time to go home? after walking valerie out, i sat at the bus stop for close to half an hour, watching the buses go by until i got tired of it. why is it that i continue to fall into the trap despite knowing it's there and i shouldnt go anywhere near?
why am i disappointed again and again? i dont ask a lot, do i? all i want is just a smile from you, oh no, all i want is for this tension to go away. yes i stand tall, yet i feel small. i need to draw strength from You, because at this point of time i really dont know what else i can do. things are not improving at all.
i dont understand. i really dont. why this? why now? why you?
that cynicism brewing inside me. i dont want a season of emo-ing. i don't want mood swings. i dont want schizophrenia. i want these few days to be erased away. 21:28
