somehow i'm just glad it's a 4-day week because for some reason, i have been rather tired this whole week even when it has only been three days.
it feels weird because i haven't been doing much and yet i feel lethargic and as though energy is constantly depleting itself at this amazingly fast rate. slackers can still become tired. which i think perhaps is not worth it at all, because i get tired while slacking, why cant i just channel those freaking energy to getting some damned work done?
but the fact still is, i'm still continuing typing and typing and typing. those tutorials are still very far away. and my random self wants to read a good book now before heading to lalaland.
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and sometimes i do wonder, how well i have been coping with all those stuff at home. frankly speaking, i do not have much of an idea because it resembles a never-ending war, you never see the destination, you just keep on fighting. not in the literal sense of course, but probably continuing to try finding what i've been finding. (though i would like to convince myself that's sheer stubbornness) i probably will not know why i still hold on, press on. reasons i try giving myself are that i have not grown and experienced enough to see where you were coming from, and that for the simplest reasons, God wouldn't have made you my family for no apparent reason.
i only know what im sure of right now is that, what you are doing to me now, i will not reciprocate. you taught how to treat people really, now i know what hurts.
