i really hope it's not a case of trying too hard. because right now, im just trying to strike a balance with all the events that had happened recently and feel at peace with it. i feel like a soldier, who goes for a war everyday, you know, you get the idea that "im gonna win the battle today" and the more you fight, the more demoralised you get if you actually realise that you are losing.
guess i lost some sense these few days, and i sincerely thank from the bottom of my heart those who tried to comfort or just listen. yeah at least that keeps me back in the track now, even though sometimes i still think things still look pretty bleak, at least i know it's going to be alright in the end. i must remember, i have that ultimate source of comfort.
and i remember what shawn said to me last time, it's okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end. so... it's not the end yet. its just some cycle, any other cycle, like the one we learn in econs, like roller coaster or whatever.
does the outcome matter as much as it used to? though i know i love you guys no less. im just... tired. but i must hang on. 21:29
