thrown into a much-routined life right now, i find myself constantly forcing myself to think more. i figure out despite halfway along the way, i may get myself into a whole bout of fear of thinking too much, no thinking will just make me lose my way. not now maybe, but it will be some day.
one thing for sure, i do not want it to happen very close or during the a levels period. it's too high a price to pay.
reality has slowly set in with all of block test results released this morning. i suppose i did okay, or rather better than what i've expected. but people who know me probably also know that i do not have great expectations of myself for academic work. but i dont want to be too lenient with myself. i'm trying to get upset with myself and my grades so that it can spur me on to achieve something better. but apparently it's not working. i shall see how i can find an alternative. heh.
but seriously, when it comes to grades, i still do remember how important sensitivity is. what i dont want to receive, i shall not do to others. fair enough.
spending time thinking probably equates to spending time procrastinating. that's time lost and tutorials are not done, concepts are not revised, tasks are not completed. but what i do know is, i need to think. not just about now, maybe i'll revisit some pasts occasionally and most importantly start thinking about my future. afterall there are some things that i deem mmore important than the others, not matter how practical a world i live in is.
procrastinate for no reason, maybe not. is my subconscious self screaming already?
i know i need a book now. but damned, i only have notes and tutorials now.
