i have a lot of random thoughts today, triggered here and there. sometimes i wonder, if im not so random, i probably wont have that many thoughts to confuse myself and also that many thoughts to give me a little more insights of what kind of life im living now.
living a life acknowledging the existence of a higher being does not make my life problemless. in fact, i dont even have less problems than before. more? maybe, i guess. old problems persist, new ones come, some get solved. but i suppose ultimately, the way of coping with all these is changing. lamenting about going through crap periods in life doesnt go about giving another form of liberation. i ended up digging my own grave and burying myself up.
buried so many years. death. warped love. conflicts. departures and disillusionment. im not quite sure whether i can handle them. you held my hand once, hold it again will you? that overwhelming liberation, make me a testimony of your love.
what love is real? is there such a thing called obliged love?
and sometimes certain company is very much appreciated and treasured. thanks fung for the afternoon out! (: and sutyee was right to say people-people interaction is very special. we all call it affinity. we are just constantly looking for that someone we can connect to. but then again, will deliberate attempts prove to be fruitless, because whats meant to happen will happen?
and then theres the apt reminder. let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.
but for you, those thoughts of yours hurt me. you make me feel helpless.
