reality hits when school has to start proper again, when i have to sit by the table listening to the subject teachers and the various lectures and no more snacking and fidgeting while studying. it's kind of funny when everything can feel a bit foreign after such a short while. it's just one holiday.
and oh, i've got an ungraded for maths. i guess im feeling much jaded about it now, though just a while ago i still gave thanks that the marks i got were decent given how much i have attempted the paper.
hmmm pfft.
ahhh. i have a lot of unexplained feelings inside me now. i feel like expressing them out but words just fail me totally. maybe i dont even know what im feeling specifically. the general idea is that i feel very detached from things around me right now. i suppose i kept repeating the phrase "i dont know" during the phonecall conversation with shawn.
i think its how things are changing and are different thats making me feel like this. or is it? or is it because i've changed and i need to cope a different way? oh my. this is bad. i should just go pray and sleep my head off. 22:57
