it was a starry night when i walked home from the bus stop just now. nowadays its rather seldom you'll see at least 6 or 7 stars when you look up, so i guess i got lucky.
i did mention before, i love night walks (when they are safe). and some things came into my mind, as usual.
i know i've said this before, that at the end of noise and fun, i believe is silence. the time when the heart has quietened down as though it needed a rest or a nap. i dont know about others but for me, sometimes this silence brings emptiness.
no with this, im not talking about having that God-shaped hole in my heart or whatsoever, because i understand that we are imperfect people who cant be there for another person 24/7. but sometimes i just question the kind of company we enjoyed before the craze faded off.
to me, there are two kinds of silence. one, the type that overwhelmes when the noise is absent. we accompanny each other for the noise for the fun, and when all these die doown, the awkward silence sets in because we no longer know what to do with each other. every sound we try to squeak out seems wrong, the harder we try, the worse it seems. so tough to break this silence. two, the kind of silence that actually feels comfortable, we can be just next to each other, stoning or whatever, but we know deep down that nothing beats this silence. there's absolutely no need to break this silence, because it's no barrier. the understanding does not end together with the noise, or what we call fun.
but well, for everything i just have to remind mmyself the kind of world i still live in. a cow still cannot sing even if i want it to. there's still work tomorrow morning, and sleep is indeed more important than these random talks now.
